Humor me for a minute.
I contend that any 33-year-old single man who’d been successfully running his own business for over 7 years, who spent his time doing work that sincerely helped people, who was decently attractive, who owned his own home and had a very cute dog, who had spent years doing inner work on himself, and who was smart, sharp and funny—could literally meet a woman tomorrow and be engaged within two weeks, if he wanted to.
I am that man. Except I’m a woman. So, I’m still single.
Don’t get it twisted, though. I’m not bitter about it. Snarky, for sure. But more so, bemused. Like, damn, what exactly is up with a world where so many smart, beautiful, fascinating, caring women are sitting around, wondering why the hell they’re still alone? If this were a different podcast, I’d go off on a long diatribe about patriarchal bullshit and unfair double standards—but that’s not what Forever Alone is about.
Because, actually: I think my singledom is my fault. OK, “fault” might be the wrong word. That implies I did something wrong, or that I’m being punished. It’s more accurate to say, my singledom is my responsibility–because being worthy of love doesn’t mean you’re ready for love.
So, that’s what Forever Alone is about: My half-agonizing, half-hopeful journey (and yes, you bet your ass that’s a reference to Persuasion—I’m not playin’ ‘bout my love for Jane Austen) through all the crap I’ve done to get out of my own way and give myself the best possible chance of finding real, long haul, committed love. And in hearing my story, I hope the odds of you finding what you’re looking for will change for the better, too.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I’m Rachel East, one half of Clarity on Fire, which I run with my best friend of 14 years, Kristen. We’re certified life and career coaches. When people hear that they think that means I help people edit their resumes and look for jobs all day, but I assure you, that’s not what I do.
I help people remove the layers of gunk they’ve built up around themselves—fear, limiting beliefs, old programming, family patterns—that obscure their ability to see who they really are and what they want. I’m less interested in helping people get the thing they want—a job or partner, usually—and more about helping them become the kind of person they want to be. And then, as a result of being that person, they end up getting what they want.
Finding a partner or getting a new job aren’t going to fix your deep insecurities or make you fulfilled if you’re not capable of feeling fulfilled, in the first place. It’s only when you heal those deeper issues that you become qualified, emotionally speaking, for what you really want. And if there’s any theme I’ve learned, that I’ve had to apply to myself with ruthless honesty, it’s this: You always get what you’re a match to. If you want something better, you’re going to have to examine what’s blocking you from being a match to it. That’s the work I help people do.
Want a professional bio? Here you go:
Rachel East and Kristen Walker are best friends and co-founders of Clarity on Fire, a life and career coaching site (and podcast!) that serves up inspiration and down-to-earth wisdom to people who know what they don’t want in work and in life, but have no idea what they’d rather be doing.
They're the creators of The Passion Profile Quiz, a free online resource which has helped more than 400,000 people pinpoint the intersection between their passion and career. Their work has been featured online at major outlets like Time, Fast Company, Business Insider, and Forbes.
